Observation of a Boat and some fish
As I entered the room I was immediately drawn to an almost complete circle of fish – some large, some small with the words “And remember I am with you always to the end. Matt 28:20″ written on them. It just felt right to sit in the centre of the circle of fish. The words meant so much to me. So many times in my life, I have felt abandoned, not just by people but also by God and no matter how much I knew in my head that I hadn’t really been abandoned, it still couldn’t take those feelings away and with them, the breakdown of trust too. It seemed that God was telling me that I, too was a fish and that for now, it was OK for me to just sit in the centre of the circle, in the protection of the other fish. It felt like God was saying that He had provided other fish (people) around me to help me and that when times were difficult, I should reach out to them for help – something I don’t find easy to do.
Then I looked at the boat. The boat is perceived to be a “safe” place to be. It keeps you dry inside the boat and you can be blown along by the wind, requiring no effort on your part. “The easy ride” came to mind. But then I realized that the boat isn’t necessarily a safe place to be if you are a fish! You lose your freedom, it’s difficult to breathe and it’s scary too, not knowing what is going to happen to you. So often, my perception is limited but God sees the bigger picture!
I noticed that on one side of the boat, there were lots of fish, but on the other side of the boat, there were no fish. The nets were also different on each side of the boat too. I was reminded of Jesus’ words “I will make you fishers of men.” and realized that it is all about catching fish in order to set them free. The fish were tangled up in the net of this world, but the fish themselves didn’t even realize it! I realized that even though Jesus has set me free, I still get tangled up again and again in the net of this world without realizing it. It made me wonder “what things do I get caught up in?” I was reminded that I need to constantly be looking to Jesus. Jesus is the one who sets us free from the net – set free, truly free, to swim back in the sea where he wants us to be (the empty net (God’s net) on the other side of the boat). It’s only when we are swimming in the sea that we can be encouraging and influencing the other fish around us.
I realized (again!) that it’s all about trust. The sea is a very scary place to be sometimes. It’s so big. It’s so deep. It’s cold. I could get lost. There are bigger fish out there than me. There were shells in the sea too. Some shells were smooth while other shells were spiky. Sometimes, life runs smoothly, but at other times, we come across the spiky shells which make life difficult, painful, uncomfortable, etc.
I noticed that some fish were very shiny, reflecting the light of God. I realized that we each have a responsibility to look after ourselves (not just physically but also spiritually, (emotionally?)), to keep our scales shiny so that we too can reflect the light of God to the other fish around us. Just as a fish’s scales grow dull if it doesn’t eat the correct nutrients, so too, our scales can grow dull if we don’t keep feeding on the word of God, praying, spending time with God, etc.
As I sat looking at the boat, I was reminded of the words of a song 2 friends wrote many years ago:
All my life I’ve been scared to go out deep
I’ve been frightened to discover the real me
So I’ve stayed close to shore
And I never found out more
Of what life with you might be
The Lord is my refuge and my strength
The Lord is my harbour in the storm
With you, my Lord, the dark is light
And your love in my heart keeps me warm
So now I’m going out into the sea
I know that the wind will carry me
I needn’t stay close to land
For Lord, in your hand
Your harbour in my heart’s enough for me
The Lord is my refuge and my strength
The Lord is my harbour in the storm
With you, my Lord, the dark is light
And your love in my heart keeps me warm
Helen James & Pam Mellor
It made me realize how I have been swimming close to the boat for my own security instead of venturing out into that big sea to swim with the other fishes. God isn’t only in the boat but He is also in me. As I swim out into the sea, God also comes with me as the circle of fish reminded me, “And remember I am with you always to the end. Matt 28:20″. Yes, the sea is a very scary place to be but I realize that that is where God wants me to be, trusting and depending on Him alone. (Back to trust again!)
Driving home, another song jumped out at me:
I want to be out of my depth in your love
Feeling your arms so strong around me
Out of my depth in your love
Out of my depth in you
LEARNING TO LET YOU LEAD
PUTTING ALL TRUST IN YOU
DEEPER INTO YOUR ARMS
SURROUNDED BY YOU
THINGS I HAVE HELD SO TIGHT
MADE MY SECURITY
GIVE ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO SIMPLY LET GO
Doug Horley
Written 20/4/05
Songs used with permission of the authors